Open Relationships

Upon a conversation with a friend I thought I'd tackle an unconventional subject... "open relationships." I decided to google the topic, just to see what kind of information could come back. To my surprise, open relationships are a lot more widely common then I'd expect. I'm surprised that so many people are challenging their marital boundaries to keep the spark in their bedroom.

According to Wikipedia:
An open relationship denotes a relationship (often between two people) in which the participants are free to have sexual intercourse with other partners. If the couple making this agreement are married, it is an open marriage.

So there's a couple of different kinds of "open relationships." The first being in a relationship with one person but being open to have sexual encounters with other people outside of the bedroom. These relations are never talked about or flaunted inside the home; or even discussed out side of the household. This type of relationship often leads to divorce. The other is to be in a relationship with one person and to have "open relations" inside the bedroom but as a group experience. In order to make the latter of the two off there has to be strict guidelines. These couples are generally referred to as "swingers" or "whatever couples."

So what kind of guidelines should a couple go by when considering an open relationship... First and for most, respect! Discretion is also a key factor in being a "whatever couple." Any accompanying parties would also have to understand the rules... there will always be a queen and trying to compete would be useless. The king should always control the situation and should consider his mates feelings in ever move that is made. Both partners in the relationship have to be in agreement and have clear expectations. Having an open relationship requires a lot of planning and thought, trust me... I've thought about it myself. According to Men's Fitness, couples that are not in agreement generally cannot make an open relationship work. I imagine that means, if your partner isn't interested, don't push because it could be toxic for your future.

So how do you bring up the subject to your mate? I imagine the subject has to be treated as if it were fragile. It's not as hard if you and your partner are open-minded and generally has the same train of thought. If not, you might want to consider your words carefully making sure to take into consideration your mates feelings.

Now, while I'm discussing "feelings" I must bring up this point... there's two different kinds of people. The first kind give everything mentally and emotionally to their partner. They have a hard time drawing the line between sensual and sexual (which is what I probably am). And then there's people can can clearly separate their feelings. To these people, sex is sex, nothing more. The latter of the two would probably be more successful having an open relationship.

So here's the question... can open relationships work? Isn't it natural for people, particularly men, to be "hunters." They've always got their eye open even if they're completely devoted to one female. Is it fair to have the traditional ideas about relationships (marriage specifically) that you're going to be with one person, and that's the only one for the rest of your life? I guess the answer is, it depends on the couple and how devoted they are to each other.

Myself, well, I always try to find new ways to keep things interesting in my bedroom. I think as long as you keep the sparks lite in the bedroom your partner wont seek the fire some place else. Both people in any relationship have to be happy and content. Honestly, I think I'd be open to being a "whatever couple" with lots of stipulations. Since the show Swingtown started I know he and I both have thought about it... the pros and cons to having this type of relationship, just neither of us have actually said it! Question: Once you start living like this, is there any way you can go back? Say after a year of having group sex can you just stop? Can you close the door to your bedroom? I think that coupled with the natural jealously issues there would be a lot of obstacles to overcome before an open relationship could even begin.

Wow, my thoughts are so jumbled up right now, I'm going to sign off for now, but I'm sure there will be more posts about this topic in the near future!